Why?
I made a Facebook account when I was 13, I think it was for some school project. Which is strange because the app wasn’t even around for that long at that point, less than 5 years. I made a Twitter when I was 15, and an Instagram at 16. Snapchat at 17. Now nearing 25, I no longer desire an online presence in that way.
Back then I cared a lot more about what people thought of me. I was young, naive, and wishing to fit in. These apps offered a way to socialize from afar, I wouldn’t need to talk with people or hang out with anyone. My ‘friends’ knew I was cool or funny because I would post a cool or funny post every once in a while. I’ve since changed a lot.
In the past three years I posted on average 2 photos a year, on Instagram which was my favorite of all of them, as I do really enjoy photography. All other applications have laid completely dormant for the duration and more. I simply don’t use them to post, and when I do, I get no satisfaction from others seeing it.
Furthermore, I found myself mindlessly scrolling on each of the apps. Whenever I was bored or taking a shit I would open Insta, look at all the new stuff, open Facebook and do the same, and so on down the line. I found myself numbing my ass on occasion because I had gotten sucked into some endless, pointless scrolling. I don’t want a numb ass, and I certainly don’t want a numb brain. Social media was numbing my brain.
So I deleted it all, actually deleted, no deactivation, straight deletion. And you know what, I could tell the difference immediately. I cried with a sense of relief. I had so simply removed such a negative dependence in my life. By removing myself from this negative externality, I gained back a part of me.
Trepidations
It took a little convincing, I won’t lie. I dwelled on this thought for months. My main objections were three fold:
- I wouldn’t be able to connect with people as easily.
- I wouldn’t get to share/document my life.
- I would lose my rights to @jamescaud.
It took a while for me to reject these pushback points as frivolous fears. But with careful examination, I was able to overcome them with logic and understanding.
First, I don’t really care about all my ‘friends’ on social media. I really don’t. I would use Facebook’s automated birthday notifications to delete people year round, so obviously I don’t really care about all of them. There are a few people I will miss seeing content from, but if I’m being frank, I probably won’t notice. As far as people trying to get into contact with me or vice versa, it’s not like I’ll forget their name, and the internet isn’t going anywhere, so I’m sure they’ll find me or I’ll find them.
Second, I do enjoy sharing. I don’t care if people see it, I mostly enjoy documenting my life as I go through it. Like an internet diary, a blog. Hey what do you know, I have a blog. A neglected blog, granted, but a blog none the less. With social media gone, I do expect to increase my utility of this app. It’s more personalized, and I get to share everything in one place; photos, videos, ideas. And look, a post in 2020 already, not bad! speaking of 2020, jesus fucking christ
Third, and probably the hardest to let go, @jamescaud has now been retired on all platforms except LinkedIn. I didn’t really count that as social media, but hopefully someday i can get rid of that too. This was really hard for me, jamescaud is my brand. And giving up something you have fought hard to solidify is not easy. But at the end of the day, I am jamescaud, these accounts aren’t me, they just describe. Myself and my brand live on through this website and through me. So if someone else comes along and wants to be jamescaud on facebook, I’ll have to tell them they weren’t the first to think of that cool name haha.
So they are gone now. I’ll see you out there in the world. If you ever think of me, just know I’m doing alright, and that I’m happier now.
